Monday, October 23, 2006

Flyer Fallout

1) FAUXRUMORS has learned some interesting tid bits concerning the recent turmoil in "The City of Brotherly Love". Apparently the problems that caused the axing of Hichcock, and the resignation of Bob (don't call me Bobby) Clarke goes back to the early pre season, or possibly even before camp

2) We're told that Flyers owner, and fitness freak, Ed Snider was displeased that Ken Hitchcock was continuing to 'put on the pounds', and called him to his office in September as players were reporting to camp. The portly Hitchcock was pushing 300+ pounds, and Snider did not think that this was a good model for his team to see. We're told he was telling insiders that his 'fat fuck coach' needed to lose weight.

3) Apparently Hitchcock did not enjoy being chewed out, but kept his mouth closed at the time, assuming the owner would forget about it. He was wrong. Snider was seen frequently discussing the issue with 'Hitch', and even offered to loan out his own personal trainer to help him with his weight issue

4) We're told that Snider partly attributes the Flyers poor start to poor conditioning, and blamed his former coach in that area. Telling a close friend,"How in hell can that fat whale expect the players to work hard when he looks like a poster boy for Crispy Cream Doughnuts!"

5) We're also told that Clarke himself has not been feeling all too well. Well known for being a diabetic, his health had been deteriorating under the stress of repeated under achieving seasons. So when Snider called him this past weekend telling him of his decision to remove Ken Hitchcock, Clarke felt it was also in his own personal best interest to step aside as well.

6) We at FAUXRUMORS fully expect Ken Hitchcock to quickly find work in the NHL. We wouldn't be surprised to see him back even before this season ends, and certainly by next. As for Clarke, he is probably done as a GM, but don't be surprised if he returns as a team president in the future.

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