Saturday, September 1, 2007

Favourite Player For Each team

1) With the off season winding down(Finally) we decided we'd throw out another discussion/opinion type post for all of you. We invite our readers to join in and give your own list/comment on ours.


  • Anaheim - Ryan Getzlaf, Without a doubt the player from the Ducks We'd love to see on our team, big, strong and skilled, with potential to get even better. George Parros and his moustache get honorable mention!

  • Atlanta - Pascal Dupuis. No reason, just love hearing announcers try to pronounce/say his name. LOL.

  • Boston - Zdeno Chara. How could the tallest player EVER to lace em up NOT be a favourite? He's also pretty dam good, and looks like he's strong enough to beat the crap out of anyone if he chose. Its a good thing for opponents he has a calm temperament!

  • Buffalo - Derek Roy. Not only is he a pretty good young player, but we can say his name and not have to sound silly like many do when saying the name of former Av's Hall of Fame goalie, who has the same last name.


  • Calgary - Dion Phaneuf. Toughness, skill, youth, scoring touch, you name it, the kid has it. You always know when this guy is on the ice. Announcers seem to love to say his full name each and every time he comes near the puck

  • Carolina - Erik Cole. Gritty and tough yet puts up points very well. Came back from that nasty neck injury, guys got guts. Also from a place called Oswego, NY. Where ever that is?


  • Chicago - Patrick Lalime...OK no, seriously Sergei Samsonov. Year in and year out steals his employers money. Gets big bucks for small effort/results. Expect more of the same. Get less for more from Sammy!


  • Colorado - Joe Sakic. Can't argue that he's the best leader in the NHL since Yzerman left the game. Excellent play maker, passer, excellent at pretty much everything. To think 14 teams past him up that draft year. Of course some of the top 14 were pretty good too(Turgeon/Shanahan) Some were not(McBean, More, Chynoweth)


  • ColumbusSergei Fedorov. He's made a lot of money and he's done Anna Kournikova. 'Nough said


  • DallasTodd Fedoruk. Have to have respect for a guy who keeps getting his Skull Kicked IN yet just keeps coming back for more more, and more............


  • DetroitNicklas Lidstrom. Since Stevie Y is no longer available for the list, we'll have to go with him. A great defenseman who always is there for 'big time minutes' on both sides of the rink. Is so good, you hardly notice him at times.


  • EdmontonRaffi Torres. Another trade we bet the Isles wish they could undo. Red-Dog may have had an off year, but at 25 he's still improving. You also gotta love a guy who can hit like this !


  • Florida - We will miss having Eddie the Eagle to kick around. Will the Miami PD also miss him? We don't think so. We honestly don't like anyone else on the team.


  • Los AngelesDan Cloutier He might suck, but any goalie who likes to drop the mitts and do this is OK in our books.


  • MinnesotaDerek Boogaard. (See Fedoryk) The guy runs a hockey fighting camp for kids! Whats not to like!


  • MontrealBryan Smolinski. For the simple reason he's played for so many teams(8) he can tell you where all the best restaurants are in each city are located


  • NashvilleJordin (22) Tootoo. 'The Little Chief'. Has a bit of 'short man syndrome', but he IS only 5'2" after all. He needs to be traded to the NY Islanders. Nolan gets the most from 'chiefs'.


  • New JerseyKevin Weekes. He may not be any good, but he sure has an interesting web site http://pub11.bravenet.com/forum/870340703/ devoted to him!.


  • NY IslandersMiroslav Satan. We really didn't want to pick him, but the Devil made us do it!


  • NY RangersColton Orr. With that last name you may think he'd have skill at more than this There had to be a reason why a guy who has NEVER been double digits in points at any level, is in the NHL.


  • OttawaRay Emery. (See Cloutier) He is NOT as good as some say, but the man is just so entertaining, he fought Buffalo's Peters in full goalie gear, gets suspended for using his stick as a hatchet . That's more than enough to get on the list. But also the puice suits !



  • PhiladelphiaDanielle Briere. Hey, how could we not root for the girl? She won't live up to the 10 million dollar salary, but it'll buy plenty of makeup!


  • PhoenixShane Doan. Probably a bit over rated /overpaid, but anyone who can put those Froggy buggers in the Quebec Media/politics in their place, is OK in our book!


  • Pittsburgh – Mark Recchi. Bet you thought we'd say Georges Laraque. Guys are so afraid of his fists that he seldomly fights anymore. The 'Wrecking Ball' has had a Hall of Fame career with a few Cup Rings.


  • San JoseJonathan Cheechoo. One of the best 'Chiefs'. When they combined Cheech with Big Joe his potential was finally realized. Should be back on the war path again this year! A bargain at 2.5 mil! Should have held out for more wampum!


  • St. LouisKeith Tkachuk. Now 11 years removed from his last 50 goal season. Keith has parlayed his past success into big money contracts which he hasn't lived up to. He's set to steal another 8 mil from the Blues the next 2 years. Eventually someone will realize you don't win with this bum on your team!


  • TampaMarty St. Louis. Probably one of the best undrafted players of the last 25 years. At barely 5'4" you can't but be impressed. One wonders how confused fans would be if he played for the Blues.


  • TorontoDarcy Fucker. The fact that everyone hates him,(including us) only makes us like him more. As Reggie Dunlap says: " You gotta twist em, fuck with them". Darcy is one of the best at that and more!

  • VancouverThe Sedins. Announcers forced to use first names when they are out there. We wonder what would happen if one starts to suck? So far all contracts have been identical(like they are) If they were forced to be separated, would they die ??


  • WashingtonAlexander Semin. Since his arrival has made the use of the double entendre easy! " Semin all over the ice". "Great release" "Hard shot" etc. Yes, its sophomoric, but entertaining.

13 comments:

Tara said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
FAUXRUMORS said...

1) Just a quickie note this Labour day weekend. We are removing comment moderation. We just had to remove a Spam post from someone named 'Tara'. Those will never be tolerated.
2) If someone(Nutz/Shuck/Hawk, etc) feels the need to revisit his 'allegations' feel free to do so under the "Off Season Report Cards- West" Thread. Feel free and write to your hearts content. Nothing will be edited.
3) However, any such shenanigans here, will be removed promptly.

Oscar's Mom said...

The link to the dead cojoined twins was in bad taste and not up to Fauxrumors standards. Just say 'faux'.

FAUXRUMORS said...

1) We have faux standards.

I SPEAK YOU THE TRUTH said...

I had a few hearty laughs at your list. I think that you guys over did it just a little on making fun of us Native Americans. A little is OK, but the wampum and war path mention were pushing the envelope.
I enjoyed the links. Fun to see especially Ray Emery. He seems like a fun dud to hang with

FAUXRUMORS said...

1) Hey there 'Truth, we didn't mean to offend anyone specifically. However, we never hold back either. Maybe when we have this years NHL tour of the NHL we can all meet up and smoke em a peace pipe? ; ) Sorry, we couldn't resist! LOL

VLAD THE IMPALER said...

I loved the list, especially the Darcy _ucker part! LOL You had that one pegged but good.

Jintzie said...

That boy still bothering you fellas? I figured for sure that he would be too embarrassed to show himself after how you boys made him look dumb as a stump.
Enough of that. Guys what update can you give me on the Sharks defense situation. You mentioned they were talking to Markov and Sopal. I think I saw that Eklund must be reading your blog cause he listed SJ as a rumored place for Markov to go. I'd be tickled to see that happen. Can you guys shed any light on all that?

FAUXRUMORS said...

1) As always Jints, thanks. We are trying to keep the silliness on the other thread, but I'll give the loon credit for being persistent. Most psychotics usually are, eh? LOL
2) Anyway, as for your question,no nothing new on the Sharks defense issues, but amazingly, we are hearing that none other than JR, Jeremy Roenick may be close to signing to play in your city this season. We're not sure why, but take it for what its worth?

FAUXRUMORS said...

1) To some of our readers who have written to us that they are alarmed seeing their old blogs resurfacing all of a sudden we say not to worry.
2) We apologize that somehow they were ensnared along with our blog last winter. The person who perpetrated this theft is trying to use those to attempt some kind of twisted extortion.
3) Rest assured that will not be successful, and we will continue to monitor and periodically erase these annoying inclusions. They are illustrative of the person who committed this crime. No need to e-mail us further. Simple deletion will just be used.
4) We have been assured that such piracy is no longer likely, so please continue to post as before. Sorry for the inconvenience.

The Dark Ranger said...

faux,...couldn't help but read a little blackberry clippings away from home. fun post, but the only improvement I might suggest would be to replace Colton Orr of the Rangers with Sean Avery and some Elisa Cuthbert breakup joke. Sad days, and Avery might need the pickup.

back in a week....

tdr

FAUXRUMORS said...

1) You are probably correct about Avery. Considering he is similar to our other 'favourite player, Darcy Fucker, and also has the Paris Hilton angle, it might have worked better than Orr.

Antzmarching said...

Semin is ALL OVER THE ICE? Faux, are you in a fraternity? LOL

 
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